Indeed, we agree with Walt Whitman and Bob Dylan; we contain multitudes.
Bulletin Board at the Royal School in Transylvania, 2024, photo ©️Elizabeth Bellows
Sunset over Cluj-Napoca, May 12, 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows
Seagulls, Blackbirds, and Thrushes
When we arrived in Romania nine months ago, the flocks of jackdaws that gathered and scattered, syncing to the rhythm of sunrise and sunset, were stunning. The winter interrupted their ebb and flow, and things grew quiet. With the return of the tulips in April, a new aviary symphony climbed up from the treetops below our apartment. Seagulls, blackbirds, and thrushes have been our morning alarm on these warmer days, signaling the inevitable upcoming transition back to the United States.
When we were in Istanbul in January, each morning we woke to the sounds of seagulls and the morning call to prayer. Max complained a little (a lot) about this, calling the gulls "laughing birds" and the prayer call "that guy singing," and we talked about all the different sounds we have heard while living on another continent (hello, place-based social studies and science!). So when the laughing birds started cackling in Cluj, we were excited to know things were changing.
I don't think I have ever noticed flowers like I do in Romania. I can attribute this to the daily task of walking, the importance of flowers to the cultures around me, and the beauty of their returns. We have experienced the changing of all the seasons in a different part of the world, and that will be imprinted in my senses. Two of my dear friends visited us in Cluj this spring. My old buddy from Dallas, now living in San Diego, came to stay with us for a week in April, and my friend and colleague from App State stayed in a garden apartment five minutes away from us for two weeks in May. Lucky me, this meant I got to visit the Alexandru Borza Botanical Garden twice! My buddy RowZ and I got to see and smell the sweet perfume of the tulips and lilies covering the entrance grounds, while Valerie and I witnessed the fragrant roses and irises opening up to greet the warmer weather. On our walks to and from school we pass by a second floor terrace covered in the most fragrant lilacs that spill all the way to the ground level. Their sweet scent hit your senses and try to stop you in your tracks, every day, just as they come into view.
Alexandra Borza Botanical Garden, April 8, 2024 & May 12, 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows
Hiking the Gorge with our Friends
On the last Saturday in March, our Ukrainian friends invited us to come for a hike in the gorge. Cheile Turzii, or Turda Gorge, is a natural reserve just south of Cluj and reminds us so much of the Linville Gorge back home, where we have summited Hawksbill and Table Rock, both sides of the Linville River. Each time we have joined folks for various activities, we are never quite sure what to expect. On this day, we loaded up the kids, just a few snacks and not enough water (!!), and Sasha’s brother Dima picked us up in his car. I rode in the back with the kids, and Scott rode up front with Dima. We stopped along the way to meet up with our other friends and caravan to the gorge by car. The drive takes about 45 minutes all the while through the twisty Transylvanian roads. We arrived in the valley of the gorge, a place I remember visiting for the first time almost exactly 13 years prior. We are no strangers to hiking, but it was unseasonably warm, and our Appalachian hiking experiences have always included curvy switchbacks that allow for a less dramatic elevation change. Turda Gorge is rough on its hikers, and pushes them to gain elevation straight up a grassy trail, with no relief plateaus the entire way up. We were covered in sunscreen, glistening with sweat, but immensely enjoyed the sweeping vistas. Reminding us of home, the kids complained a bit, and handing out snacks helped them endure the journey. After soaking in the birds’ perspective, we traversed down the mountain, still without switchbacks, sliding at times on the blanket of leaves that covered the steep, rocky trail. My knees ached and my legs were trembling by the time we made it to the river bed at the bottom of the gorge. Max’s spindly, almost 8-year-old legs seemed virtually unaffected by the terrain, as he skipped his way down wearing Crocs (of course). Claire and our new friend Katarina were playing random songs on Spotify, singing "Summertime Sadness" by Lana Del Rey as we descended. It felt good to see Claire so peaceful and enjoying herself.
The bottom of the gorge provided real food via food trucks and makeshift outdoor kitchens with covered pavilions and picnic tables. The smells of fresh-baked placintas and kurtos (chimney cakes), fryers bubbling up chicken schnitzel and fried potatoes, and hamburgers sizzling on the grill filled the air along with the fresh mountain air and cigarette smoke (everyone smokes here). We took a rest for a bit and had some snacks, beer, and water, and readied ourselves to hike back through the gorge along the river to where we parked our cars. It was much cooler now, everyone outside of our family unit bothered that Max didn't have a hoodie or long pants. 🤷♀️
After eight miles of hiking, Dima drove us home and were immediately contacted by Sasha and Natasha—“Join us,” they insisted, “we are ordering a lot of seafood by the lake. Come eat with us.” Hardly able to walk, we laced up our sneakers again, let the kids chill out at home, and took a cab to meet our friends for some seafood. When invited, we show up.
Cheile Turzii (Turda Gorge), March 30, 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows
RowZ Visits and a Trip to Sighetu-Marmatiei
At the beginning of April, one of my longest friends flew out of LA to come and visit us in Romania. Eric (RowZ) and I have been friends since I graduated college and started my teaching career in 2000. We were neighbors in a young professionals apartment community and spent most of our time together hanging out and having a good time with our friends. When RowZ arrived on a Wednesday, I let him know we had rented a house in the border town of Sighetu-Marmatiei for the weekend. Before we left town I took RowZ up to the Panoramic Citadel, one of our favorite restaurants to take visitors, where we indulged on some stellar food and the best view of the city (and an Aperol spritz!). We ducked inside St. Michael's Cathedral, the Romanian Orthodox church as well, and toured the botanical gardens. RowZ stayed in our apartment, so he was up and at 'em in the mornings to accompany me on our walk to school while Scott left for work (more on his new job below), and he got a good feel for what our daily life entails.
Over the weekend we rented a car and drove toward Maramures, the most rural county of Romania. On our way, we stopped in a small town called Năsăud to visit our Fulbright friends Bridget, Jason, and baby George. Shame on us for forgetting to snap a photo! We were having too much fun in fellowship. 🥰 We shared a meal (Scott brought a pork roast) then made our way up the agrarian countryside to make ourselves at home with the mountain views in Sighet.
Sighetu-Marmatiei is a haunting city in northern Romania, just over the Ukraine border, on the south side of the Tisa River. It is the hometown of Elie Weisel, author of Night, his passionate testament to his experiences as a Jewish prisoner and survivor of Auschwitz and Buchenwald concentration camps. To see the home of Mr. Weisel and how close it is to the train tracks that carried his family away is sobering. Because of the political history of Sighet, here you find a museum--once a political prison--where you can learn about the history of the region and the role it played in communist rule and resistance. The Memorial to the Victims of Communism and to the Resistance exposes the possibilities of our humanness in its best and worst forms. To know you are standing in a prison cell where someone died, their only crime being their views and beliefs, can tear your heart out. To see how far folks can push, and how much they can resist, puts the totality of it all in some kind of uneasy perspective. Claire had so many questions, and the prison-turned-museum was a "real downer," she later reflected, but she was ultimately grateful she was able to walk its halls. A few weeks later she asked me, "Do you ever just cry when you're teaching history?"
"All the time," I said.
"It's just like, some people's lives just like, end. Like they had all these hopes and dreams and it was just like, over," she epiphanized.
"I know," I said. "I think when you stand in a place like that museum in Sighet, it helps you realize and feel all that, you know? And I think it's our job to know how others' felt. So we remember. So we behave better."
"Yeah," she lamented. "It's a lot." I know, kid. I know. It's all a whole hell of a lot.
Cluj-Napoca and Sighetu-Marmatei, Romania, 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows
Bucharest, Sibiu, and Reasons to Return
The spring Fulbright gathering was held in Bucharest in April, so we flew straight from London to Romania’s capital, where we stayed in the same hotel (and the same room!) as we did back in September. (Here's our spring break in London photo dump.) It was fun to realize we had arrived in this very place in Bucharest seven months before, and had only been in Romania for six weeks at that point. Here we were, official temporary Romanian citizens, and only two more months to go before flying back to the U.S. How far we had come! One little thing that sticks with me from our first trip to Bucharest back in September was the scale that was in the hotel bathroom. My clothing felt a bit looser, but until I stepped on the scale I didn’t believe how much weight I had already lost just six weeks into our European journey. This trip in April revealed an even bigger loss. Knowing that 8 months of walking instead of driving, and eating a healthy amount vegetables, and practicing yoga had caused a loss of 25 pounds gave me motivation to keep up this new lifestyle when I return to the states. Where can I park in Boone so I can walk to work? How often can I schedule walks on the greenway, or around Bass Lake? How can I prioritize my walking? When will be the best time to practice yoga? I will some advice I heard long ago when struggling with time management and self-care: I will schedule the walks and yoga before I schedule my work tasks. I can do it!
Cluj-Napoca, Romania, March, 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows
In Bucharest we toured Ceaucescu's residence in the middle of the city, and it felt eerie and awkward traipsing through the dictator's home, knowing he and his wife lived and entertained there in luxury while their citizens' freedoms were stripped. The house felt a little like the Biltmore in Asheville, not nearly as big, but just as showy. We also visited the Manasia Estate, currently a winery in the small town outside of the capital, and had a decadent lunch. See the Fulbright story on our trip here. Our trip was topped with the kids' first visit to a symphonic concert, performed by “George Enescu” Philharmonic Orchestra, conducted by Michael Sanderling, with violoncellist Andrei Ioniță as the soloist. The program included works by Aram Haciaturian and Piotr Ilici Ceaikovski. Claire took a little nap and Max coughed way too much (hello, spring allergies), but overall it was a lovely evening. I am moved by symphonies, and this one was no different, causing a few tears during the most gripping parts. I lovingly blame this condition on my sweet mom, the professional flutist who raised us on classical music. 🎶 💜
From Bucharest, we decided to drive through Sibiu instead of Brasov since we knew we would visit Brasov one more time in June. Sibiu instantly revealed itself to be one of our favorite towns in Transylvania! Sibiu is a German town in Transylvania (Hermannstadt) that has plenty of cultural events, old town charm, stunning churches, and mountain views. We stayed in a traditional apartment in the city center that shares an interior courtyard with neighbors. At the beginning of May we could still see snow atop the mountain range, and the temperature in Sibiu is a bit cooler than Cluj while only two hours away by car.
We did what we normally do when we stumble across a place we love so much: we priced real estate in the area. You know you do the same thing when you take a vacation and wonder, what would it cost to just LIVE here? When we were first getting settled in Romania we were searching and searching for reasons to stay, but now those reasons come at us from all directions. Instead of figuring out why we might stay, all we can think about now is how we can make Romania part of our future.
Bucharest, April, 2024 and Sibiu, May, 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows
Friends in the countryside (Mera) and Scott's New Job
Our Ukrainian friend Tetiana serves as a child psychologist for the Ukraine House. Her boyfriend is Hungarian, named Alex (Shandor), and lives in Mera, a small Hungarian village about 20 minutes outside of Cluj. These two lovebirds met in the city one night, and have been inseparable ever since. Tetiana (Tanya) now lives in Mera with Alex in a house that Alex built on his family's land a few years ago. We first met Alex when Tanya brought him along to our apartment for some food and a rooftop fire back in January. Scott and Alex hit it off instantly, and Alex kept in touch about some ideas he had to utilize Scott's construction skills. Alex works at a hotel/restaurant between Cluj and Mera, and he has been wanting to start a construction business. Eventually, Alex asked Scott if he would come out to Mera, meet a potential client, and maybe even help him get his business up and running before we head back to the U.S.
Scott is the type of guy who has had so many jobs and experiences, that when he tells stories, they are often unbelievable (think about the Secret Life of Walter Mitty). But all his stories are true, and all his skills are absolutely believable when you see him go to work in the kitchen or on a construction site. You become a believer. Whether it’s cooking traditional Romanian sarmale, building a barn, fixing anything that is broken, or whitewater kayaking, my husband can do all the things, whatever country we find ourselves in.
Alex quickly became a believer in Scott, so they shortly began work on a house for a German client in a small suburb west of Cluj (Floresti), building an outdoor storage building and a backyard covered deck. Once they finished this job, Alex wanted to bid on restoring a barn in his little village of Mera, where the community holds festivals, weekend parties, and other music and dancing events. Alex tells us that Mera is a perfect village because it is close to the train station, and there is even a bus that will take you to Cluj every day of the week. And there is a natural spring and four grocery stores! Alex and his friends in Mera have been saddened over the years witnessing their perfect little village going to ruin, and want to do what they can to revive the town and raise their families here. It is common for young generations of Romanians to grow up and move away, oftentimes living out their adult lives outside of Romania. Alex wants to preserve his town, and encourage his kids to settle here and carry on with the farming and country life he enjoyed so much as a kid growing up here, and as an adult caring for his parents, grandma, and his own kids. Alex was thrilled to share the news with Scott that they won the bid to complete the job in Mera.
As I write this post on a Sunday afternoon, the kids and I are sitting on outdoor bean bags under a posted tent while Scott stains the wooden stairs he built earlier this week. He loves when he can bring the whole family along on a project and we can all be together, doing our own things in nature. It is a good feeling to see signs all over Mera asking neighbors to “save the date” for the upcoming festival in August, to be held here on these grounds. To know our family is somehow connected with the revival of this little venue right next to the Mera's natural spring feels sunny and right.
Mera, Romania, May 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows
Valerie Visits: Faces of Courage Project
My colleague from App State works in the Communications department and researches women’s trauma and healing. We had a video conference meeting earlier this semester and I shared with her the Faces of Courage project (see this previous blog post). She was intrigued with the project and toyed with the idea of spending some of her sabbatical visiting Romania so we could write a piece together about the women behind this project. I purchased an additional Faces of Courage book for Valerie, and she booked a flight to Cluj as well as the cutest little garden apartment near the city center. For two weeks, Valerie spent her mornings writing as I walked the kids to school, then we would meet up around lunchtime to hang out and talk about how we wanted to approach our project. We managed to conduct an interview with the creator of the Faces of Courage project and collect some data to move our project further. We enjoyed a(nother!) trip to the botanical gardens, took Valerie to Sibiu, and celebrated Max's birthday before she flew back to the U.S. I am very much looking forward to our collaborative project and doing some yoga and walking together back in North Carolina!
Sibiu, Kayaking, and Laser Tag for Max's (8th!) Birthday
All Max wanted for his birthday were these Numberblocks characters (numbers 1-20) from the Numberblocks kids show. Since they are only available in the U.S., I ordered them through Amazon, then shipped them to my buddy RowZ so he could bring them over when he came in April. I don’t know how I hid them from Max for a month, but the plan went off without a hitch and he was totally surprised.
Valerie helped us celebrate Max’s real birthday in a spacious, three-bedroom AirBnB in Sibiu, then we made our way back to Cluj via Lake Tarnita. At this picturesque lake we were able to rent kayaks and spend a couple of hours paddling through the smooth water with the kids. Scott took Max tandem, and Valerie, Claire, and I went out solo. Something has always felt right when I get on the water. I spent my childhood a couple of blocks away from Grapevine Lake in Grapevine, Texas, and my dad would tote his boat to the Brazos River in central Texas, or to Lake Texoma, or Broken Bow Lake in Oklahoma to get away for a weekend. On this particular day in Lake Tarnita, the perfect temperature, the lovely folks who rented our kayaks, and the beauty of the mountains around us eased my busy mind and provided mental relaxation as my upper body was summoned to do some hard work. Recovering from the soreness of my real first time kayaking took a few days, and a new appreciation for all the whitewater kayaking my husband and bonus daughter have done over the years sprouted. I can’t shake the feeling that it’s time to get Max in his own boat. Maybe next year.
About a week later, after the kids returned to school, we hosted a double birthday party at a laser tag venue in Cluj with Max’s friend Jad. Jad’s mom is from Tunisia, temporarily living in Cluj for the next three years because of her husband’s job. Before moving to Romania they lived in El Paso, Texas, so we always enjoy talking to one another about how much we loved our homes and friends in Texas. We had fun planning the kids' party together, even though Max was not interested in playing laser tag, and Jad was in a bad mood. 🤣 The cakes were good though!
Cluj, Sibiu, Lake Tarnita, and Cluj again, May 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows and Valerie Wieskamp
Sasha and Natasha
I wrote before about Natasha (Natalia) who teaches the youngest Ukrainian students at the Ukraine House through art, play, and music. When we first met Natasha, we did not learn about her husband or her children, only about her work. In January, when we invited our Ukrainian friends over, we got to meet Natasha’s husband Oleksandr (Sasha) for the first time. Sasha is the chief engineer of a cargo ship that sets sail for four months at a time. His schedule is four months on, four months off, so when he is home, he's really home, and he spends a lot of time with Natasha helping her with the children and the Ukraine House. Sasha was at sea when we first met Natasha and sang with her on the main stage during Cluj’s Christmas Market days back in December. Before he set sail this last time, Sasha invited us to come have dinner with him and Natasha at our favorite seafood restaurant on the lake next to Iulius Mall.
We have witnessed Natasha long for her husband, appreciate their limited time together, and then miss him all over again. Natasha’s story is one that I look forward to telling in my work. There is a lot of research around how difficult it is for teachers to remain a calm, steadfast figure in children’s lives while they deal with their own trauma and personal struggles, and Natasha reminds me how important this work is. I am developing an interview protocol specific to Natasha’s story, as she is a daily source of inspiration. The last meal we had with our friends at the lake was the night before Sasha shipped off. We are so grateful they both shared that time with us, and that we got to take a walk around the lake together after once again filling our bellies with seafood.
Taverna Racilor, Lacul Gheorgheni, May 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows
Treepi, Amadeia, and Cosmin
We were fortunate to be invited to the Faces of Courage event in February, where we met Amadeia, author of seventeen women's stories who continue to fight and work on the front lines in Ukraine. A few weeks after Faces of Courage, we met Amadeia and her husband Cosmin for coffee near the square in Cluj. Here we learned that their passion project is an event venue out in a tiny mountain village west of Cluj (Marcesti) called Treepi. The venue has a large pavilion/meeting space, a huge tent, and multiple hammocks hanging amongst the stunning, white-barked birch trees. There is also a cabin where Cosmin and Amadeia can stay overnight, and a plethora of outdoor activities. After taking my colleague Valerie to meet up with Amadeia for some coffee (at our favorite coffee shop, Meron), we were invited to visit Treepi one Saturday afternoon. Alex had loaned Scott his car on this particular weekend, so we took some snacks and drove out of the city to literally hang amongst the birch trees. While witnessing a two-year-old's day-long birthday party at Treepi, Scott had a chance to speak with Cosmin at length about plans to build cabins on some land in Transylvania (Cosmin grew up in Sibiu), so we have yet another reason to return and Scott has potential to earn some income with this project. Amadeia and I had long talks about raising teenage daughters, social media, friendship, and losing a parent. Amadeia is the type of person that exudes empathy and warmth, and makes you feel like you're her very best friend; like you've known each other for years. I know this is only the beginning of a friendship that will last a long time. Just look at their stunning venue!
Treepi, Marcesti, RO, May 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows
Food as Community Building and a Boxing Match 🥊 🇺🇦
How do you build community? We have learned that it does not happen fast, it is not guaranteed, and it must be nurtured and practiced to survive. Any time we see a hint of an opportunity for building, nurturing, or practicing community, we have done our best to seize it. Here is but one example:
For about a month, Alex expressed his excitement to Scott about getting together for the upcoming heavyweight championship, and hoped a local bar in Cluj would broadcast it live (at 1:45 a.m.). Unfortunately, the bar did not have enough folks interested and decided not to stream the fight, so Scott and I looked into how we could provide the fight to our friends. After all, a Brit was to fight a Ukrainian (Usyk vs. Fury)! Pretty quickly we figured out how to stream the fight, and invited Tetiana, Alex, and Alex’s brother Arnold to join us at our apartment. To Scott, folks coming over means meal prepping! He fed our friends beef soup and chicken wings, and later cooked the minced meat rolls that Alex provided. It meant a lot to Alex that we were able to secure a viewing of the fights so quickly, and even more that the Ukrainian won the heavyweight world championship! A decision after 12 rounds! It was very, very late (or early?), but we all made it to the end to cheer for and celebrate the Ukrainian victory. I am reminded of my stepmother's sister Sandy who said, "I didn't know there were two 4 o'clocks!" Haha. I think we saw the other 4:00 that particular day. This little gathering meant a lot for Alex, and it gave Tanya and I some time to talk. What a great night!
My Husband 🌷
My husband does not give gifts. But every day, just about every single day since we've met, he feeds me. What is feeding a person morning, noon, and night for days and months and years on end, but a wonderful, precious gift? He did buy me a hatchet one time, the first year we met. But it was not my birthday, or Mother's Day, or any other day other than the day he was in Lowe's, saw a hatchet, and thought I should have one for my fire pit. On my birthday, I am always treated to a fancy breakfast; I usually get poured a mimosa in a champagne flute with the perfectly carved strawberry wedged on the rim, and some sort of fancy brunch-y egg dish. A frittata with spinach and mushrooms, a bacon and guacamole omelet, home fries and poached eggs with fresh made salsa; all of it wonderful and indulgent. All of it made with great love.
Last week I was sitting alone in the apartment, laptop heating up my thighs, probably writing some of this blog, and I realized the date. It was our one year anniversary! We decided to get married before we came to Romania, thinking it would make things easier with immigration, knowing we actually wanted to be married to each other, but so fraught with the discomfort of the thought. His second marriage, my third. Eek. Why does society put this weirdness on us about lifetime monogamy, patriarchy, soul mates, proposals, white dresses, purity, sex lives? What does choosing to be with someone today, tomorrow, and the next day have to do with the state? With the government? We resisted as long as we could and basically said, "fuck it." We called up my buddy RowZ and asked him to come to North Carolina to marry us, my bestie Kristy invited herself (it's true 😆) and we decided to have a little ceremony at Goshen Creek. The weather had other plans that May weekend in 2023, and then our friends, Scott's client, graciously offered up their amazing property as a makeshift wedding venue. Very apropo. We spent many days hanging out in this house during the pandemic while Scott worked on its restoration and its owners were at their home in Florida. Scott loves that house. We all do. So, without so much as a conversation, we agreed: we're getting married at Holly and John's.
So I remembered, after Scott had left for work and I had walked the kids to school, after I had opened my laptop, after I started on my to-do list, it's our anniversary! I texted Scott with my favorite picture from our ceremony on Holly and John's back porch, "Hey it's our anniversary! 💕" He replied, "Happy wife day!!!!!" and, "Is so glad to be your husband" (he has large fingers). When my husband came home, he was holding a gathered bunch of hand-picked pink peonies, about to burst open, wrapped in taped-together tissue paper.
Joy. Flowers are a gift. And I love this man.
Anniversary peonies, May 2024, ©️Elizabeth Bellows
So how will we pass through the next seasons? How will we return as the tulips do? How will we gently open up like the peonies, and where will we be? How will we spill over like the lilacs and alert our friends, "We're here! We have returned!"? Answering these questions are my new pursuit.
...Upcoming...camping in the mountains with Natasha, Tetiana, and the Ukraine House kids...
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